Hi there,
Lately I have come across the mediocre phrase “Whoever loves me, has to love me as I am” several times.
A friend once sent me a photo of a woman he liked, a beautiful, well-groomed girl with a great gym body. My friend, skinny, doesn’t stop smoking and getting drunk every weekend.
I immediately told him to quit smoking, drinking alcohol and to get fit like her. My friend answered me. “No! She must love me as I am!”
The first thing is that, obviously, she is never going to pay attention to him because, if she is looking for a boyfriend, she is going to look for someone like her.
Second, he didn’t look for a skinny woman, ugly, a smoker, a drinker. Which means that he is not going to love someone who is not physically attractive.
It is obvious, although all those people who supposedly only pay attention to feelings are offended. The infallible truth is that the first filter of all is the physical. You see someone, you like them physically and you already relate to see how their personality is. No one approaches a person who seems ugly “to see if you like his personality.” Let’s not be hypocrites.
This is how I have listened to countless men with the same cheap phrase. Men who, in general, do not even raise dust. Do you want them to like you? Exercise, take care of yourself, shave, do skincare, etc. These are habits that also make you feel better about yourself.
Eating junk, drinking excessive alcohol, and smoking are things that won’t do any good; quite the contrary, they are self-destructive behaviors.
I am shocked by the hypocrisy of those who say “She must love me the way I am.” Your partner should love you as you are, up to a certain point.
More and more we have “body activists” who are people, usually models, who do not necessarily meet lifelong thinness standards. People who defend the perfection of their bodies as they are. But these people eat healthy, exercise, take care of themselves, have good dental hygiene, etc.
I think that those people who expect to be loved as they are, are hypocrites because they look exactly at the pretty, and well-groomed women. Second, they don’t even love themselves, because if they did, they wouldn’t damage their bodies the way they do, inside and out.
Those who do not have a partner and are mortified, instead of thinking that nobody loves you the way you are, think that there is something (or a lot) in you that is not right and start taking care of yourself.